i think i have herpe
just one?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
