Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
wow bdsm is so cute
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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