How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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