he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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