He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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