I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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