yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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