Sponge bath it is.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
