So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
