sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
