we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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