Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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