hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Of course I have a pirate flag
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
