If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
