I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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