Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
