Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
