do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
