saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
