Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
