I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Success! We fucked roommates!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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