she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
