dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
