She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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