I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
