is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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