Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
