I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
NoShamevember. You game?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
