her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
