how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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