Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
