May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Drunk is not a location!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
