i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize