There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
