Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
