i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
