She's JV to your varsity
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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