Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
