I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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