I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
