I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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