Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
