would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
