Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
