I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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