i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I lost the right to judge tonight
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I want a musical about memes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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