so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
