i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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