Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
