just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
